I always get excited whenever a Tuesday hit my calendar. It was the time I was scheduled to go to Saint Louis University (SLU) to attend the psych class for my masters in nursing. It was also the time I met my classmates whom I consider as one of the biggest support systems I have in Baguio City. After the class, we would often go to Gloria Jeans and spend some additional time to talk. We even share problems and give psychotherapy to each other if needed.

There are a lot of times when I faced them sad and confused because of problems with my ex who was then my present boyfriend. They let me see a lot of angles and share a variety of opinions and proposed solutions to the then current dilemmas. Some gave an obviously inappropriate advice (could be due to lack of understanding of the salient points) and some said some bright words that hit the right spot. Whenever my ex would inhibit me to go out with the only real social life that I have in Baguio, I would really assert for my right to go with them because it only happens once in every one or two weeks. Unfortunately, it often turned into another conflict between the two us.

It is actually not the amount or appropriateness of the advice that I am after whenever I see my friends. It is simply their presence and the experience of having people willing to spend time to listen and share both positive and negative energies with. I tried to extend my life to these people and what they had to offer because I do not want my world to revolve around my partner. The need for belongingness from friends is something that should not be denied nor forbidden. Nobody has the right to stop you from fulfilling a need.

I have learned to appreciate my support systems not by the quantity or number of people I have but on the quality of friendship and connection that we have in terms of genuineness, sincerity, and the implied promise that whatever happens, you are just there for each other. And yes, my real friends both in Baguio and in Tagum were completely there for me after the break-up.

There was not a day that nobody would call me just to check on how I was doing. While I was in Tagum City to spend the grieving process, my friends in Baguio kept calling on the phone just to listen and reflect with me. On the other hand, my friends in Tagum visited me at home and listened to my stories while offering a hand to hold on whenever I feel like crying. My best friends regularly took me to the local coffee shop to spend time talking and enjoying the wifi. Meanwhile, my mom and older sister would take me to malls and places where we could shop clothes and stuffs or to the supermarket for some groceries.

My Mom, my older sister and my real friends were all there and are still there to keep me sane, to check on my physical safety and emotional intactness, and to keep me diverted whenever I need to. They are my support system and I can not ever move forward without them.

I may have lost the most important man in my life (Dale, my ex-bf) but at least I won two more men in the person of my half brothers who have been disconnected from my life and my family since day one.

I knew upon the leakage of family secrets that my father had children from other women aside from my mom. Knowledge of the harsh truth had me felt like there was no time for grieving because the thought that I had half-brothers had me rushing to find them. The internet was the best place to commence the search.

Champ is my younger half brother in General Santos City who I met barely 5 years ago when I was still a nursing student. He was the only person who replied to the hundreds of emails I sent to strangers I suspected would have the key to my quest. Eventually, we figured out that we had the same father and I found exactly who I was looking for.

Giovanni has been a regular invitee to significant family events. He is older than me and younger than my full-blood sister. There must be something special about him that makes him entitled to these prerogatives. And I was not wrong. He, indeed, is special. The bubble has burst and I found out that is also my half-brother.

In an attempt to cope from my recent breakup, I figured that it would be helpful to tap some support systems near the area. I called Champ up to visit Tagum City (my hometown) and promised to introduce him to our older sister, grandmother, and people that he should have known as part of his birth right. I toured him around the city and shared family stories while driving the car.

I also called Giovanni up to meet his newly found brother. Our older sister – Karen – was busy with her kid so the three of us spent the night together. We had dinner in some nice restaurant and headed to a videoke bar where we spent the night sharing our stories, feelings, and happiness that somehow another puzzle piece became clear in our lives.

I opened up myself and they gave support despite the fact that my stories are different since I am gay. They were proud of me for standing for a good decision and sympathized with the pain I am currently bearing. All my inner conflicts, past or current, came to a pause of peace with my brothers. It was totally a night to remember for the three of us and I am glad that I was the key for the reunion.

Somehow, another chapter of our lives was opened now that the bond between us was formally made. Today, Giovanni will be getting married to his long-time girlfriend and we are reunited once more for this event. I will be the best man later (or best woman as I always cry out) and I only wish the couple the best of luck for their newest adventure!