I always get excited whenever a Tuesday hit my calendar. It was the time I was scheduled to go to Saint Louis University (SLU) to attend the psych class for my masters in nursing. It was also the time I met my classmates whom I consider as one of the biggest support systems I have in Baguio City. After the class, we would often go to Gloria Jeans and spend some additional time to talk. We even share problems and give psychotherapy to each other if needed.

There are a lot of times when I faced them sad and confused because of problems with my ex who was then my present boyfriend. They let me see a lot of angles and share a variety of opinions and proposed solutions to the then current dilemmas. Some gave an obviously inappropriate advice (could be due to lack of understanding of the salient points) and some said some bright words that hit the right spot. Whenever my ex would inhibit me to go out with the only real social life that I have in Baguio, I would really assert for my right to go with them because it only happens once in every one or two weeks. Unfortunately, it often turned into another conflict between the two us.

It is actually not the amount or appropriateness of the advice that I am after whenever I see my friends. It is simply their presence and the experience of having people willing to spend time to listen and share both positive and negative energies with. I tried to extend my life to these people and what they had to offer because I do not want my world to revolve around my partner. The need for belongingness from friends is something that should not be denied nor forbidden. Nobody has the right to stop you from fulfilling a need.

I have learned to appreciate my support systems not by the quantity or number of people I have but on the quality of friendship and connection that we have in terms of genuineness, sincerity, and the implied promise that whatever happens, you are just there for each other. And yes, my real friends both in Baguio and in Tagum were completely there for me after the break-up.

There was not a day that nobody would call me just to check on how I was doing. While I was in Tagum City to spend the grieving process, my friends in Baguio kept calling on the phone just to listen and reflect with me. On the other hand, my friends in Tagum visited me at home and listened to my stories while offering a hand to hold on whenever I feel like crying. My best friends regularly took me to the local coffee shop to spend time talking and enjoying the wifi. Meanwhile, my mom and older sister would take me to malls and places where we could shop clothes and stuffs or to the supermarket for some groceries.

My Mom, my older sister and my real friends were all there and are still there to keep me sane, to check on my physical safety and emotional intactness, and to keep me diverted whenever I need to. They are my support system and I can not ever move forward without them.

My assumed married life revolved around Baguio City. It is where I discovered a lot of unknown things in my personality and where much of my transformation as an adult occurred not physically but rather mentally and emotionally. It is the place where I fostered my love for my recent ex and it is the pool of my personal experiences ranging from worst to best.

I really think that it is one of the loveliest cities in the Philippines because of its wonderful combination of nature, urbanity, and weather. The only catch is that it is about 600 miles away from home (Tagum City) and is considerably far. I remember that despite all the difficulties that waited in this place, I still opted to leave my comfort zones, fly to Baguio, face different kinds of people with different cultures and values, learn languages somewhat alien to my own, and start life anew with him. I thought that if loving him meant that I must do this kind of sacrifice then I did not see why I should not.

I learned to love Baguio only because he was in it. I fully embraced a lifestyle that is far different from what I had back home until the point came that I decided to leave everything behind for a reason only few can fully decipher. The escape I made for home and freedom from the chains in my life was carried out. I left the place as a torn and incomplete being. Some pieces of me were still left with him and even a lot more were left in Baguio.

For more than a month, I was a complete mess yet I knew that there was a need for me to push myself a little forward. I tried to bring myself back to the right track in both personal and professional aspects of my life and started to pick up the pieces to build myself once again. I remembered that in order for me to completely do that, I must go back Baguio. I knew That someday I will and when that time comes I must be prepared to face it.

Now, I am back in Baguio! Being here again this early did not occur to me at all because I felt I still needed more time at home for myself and for my family. But, due to demands of the times and my desire to finish my masters as soon as possible before I migrate to the USA, I forcibly induced my preparedness to be back. And so I made my choice...

Now I am starting to take back the pieces I left here and I think I am really doing a good job at it. My mind is set not to see him as much as possible because the wounds that have started to heal might be agitated once more. In time, I will cross that bridge but for now I must do what I am supposed to do out of love for myself and for people who truly love me. Moreover, I learned to further appreciate and love Baguio City no longer for reasons related to my ex but because of the splendor that it contains and every beautiful thing it has to offer!